While Artificial Intelligence, the other A.I., is stealing jobs from humans left and right and Kobe is Doing Work, Allen is out of work. Currently, Allen Iverson is a fraction of the 9.7% of Americans unemployed. Now I’m sure he isn’t piling up the unemployment checks like many other frustrated Americans, but he still has to provide for his family.
It’s deep into July and there have yet to be any serious offers for the once NBA all-star. Of course there have been rumors: AI reuniting with Larry Brown in Charlotte, going to the Clippers to help the backcourt of Eric Gordon and Baron Davis and sell some tickets (OK maybe just to sell tickets), and Memphis (who cares?). If the Clippers are actually interested, Blake Griffin’s rookie stats will surely be inflated with the addition of Iverson, giving Griffin more offensive rebound opportunities. The other rumor that has been floating around is AI to South Beach. Before I continue writing this tragedy, the Bulls fan inside of me has something to say.
“Hey Allen, please go to Miami. Once you left Denver, the Nuggets turned into a team and made it to the Western Conference finals. You came to Detroit, got the coach fired, aggravated newly demoted 6th man Rip Hamilton and that great DeeeeTroit Basketball chemistry. So Allen, please take a one way trip to South Beach, so after one year with you, D-Wade will be willing to take a $30 million pay cut and come back home to Chicago in a flash. Pretty please? Pat Riley, are you listening?"
Anyhow, who would have thought that Allen Iverson would be searching for a team and not the other way around? Who would have thought that Ben Gordon would be making $55 mil. over 5 years and AI would be fighting for a $5.9 mil. one year mid-level exception contract? Come on, it’s Allen Iverson! Someone has to want him. Well let’s look at his résumé: 34 years old 6’0” 180 lbs., 27.1 PPG, 6.2 APG, 2.2 SPG. To any employer, the numbers are very fascinating, well expect for that first one, 34. What NBA GM will waste big money on an aging, aching, 34 year old problem child who doesn’t like to practice? My answer: Isiah Thomas. Unfortunately for Iverson, Isiah is no longer with the NBA family. Instead, he’s busy coaching the always-feared Florida International University. So unless AI is willing to take a serious pay cut and put his family’s well being on the line, he’ll remain out of work. Well, there’s always Europe or maybe Isiah will bring him on board his coaching staff. It seems that after all, the wondrous Allen Iverstotle only got half of it right: yes, we aren’t talking about a game, but we aren’t even talking about practice, well as long as AI is still unemployed.
It’s deep into July and there have yet to be any serious offers for the once NBA all-star. Of course there have been rumors: AI reuniting with Larry Brown in Charlotte, going to the Clippers to help the backcourt of Eric Gordon and Baron Davis and sell some tickets (OK maybe just to sell tickets), and Memphis (who cares?). If the Clippers are actually interested, Blake Griffin’s rookie stats will surely be inflated with the addition of Iverson, giving Griffin more offensive rebound opportunities. The other rumor that has been floating around is AI to South Beach. Before I continue writing this tragedy, the Bulls fan inside of me has something to say.
“Hey Allen, please go to Miami. Once you left Denver, the Nuggets turned into a team and made it to the Western Conference finals. You came to Detroit, got the coach fired, aggravated newly demoted 6th man Rip Hamilton and that great DeeeeTroit Basketball chemistry. So Allen, please take a one way trip to South Beach, so after one year with you, D-Wade will be willing to take a $30 million pay cut and come back home to Chicago in a flash. Pretty please? Pat Riley, are you listening?"
Anyhow, who would have thought that Allen Iverson would be searching for a team and not the other way around? Who would have thought that Ben Gordon would be making $55 mil. over 5 years and AI would be fighting for a $5.9 mil. one year mid-level exception contract? Come on, it’s Allen Iverson! Someone has to want him. Well let’s look at his résumé: 34 years old 6’0” 180 lbs., 27.1 PPG, 6.2 APG, 2.2 SPG. To any employer, the numbers are very fascinating, well expect for that first one, 34. What NBA GM will waste big money on an aging, aching, 34 year old problem child who doesn’t like to practice? My answer: Isiah Thomas. Unfortunately for Iverson, Isiah is no longer with the NBA family. Instead, he’s busy coaching the always-feared Florida International University. So unless AI is willing to take a serious pay cut and put his family’s well being on the line, he’ll remain out of work. Well, there’s always Europe or maybe Isiah will bring him on board his coaching staff. It seems that after all, the wondrous Allen Iverstotle only got half of it right: yes, we aren’t talking about a game, but we aren’t even talking about practice, well as long as AI is still unemployed.
Cabrera: YOU COULDNT BE MORE RIGHT. this guy is a toxin and no team if the ownership is sane should pick this guy up
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